Track One: Late Bloomer

On April 9, the same day I officially release my new album “Late Bloomer,” I will be turning 67. Yes, that’s old, so they say. It’s a prime number, which I think is cool. It doesn’t feel old, though.

For now I have made a record! A real

album full of songs that I am burstingly pleased with and proud of. I grapple with imposter syndrome, but also, I have a greatness complex—everybody should hear this album—everybody in the whole wide world! The truth, as usual, is someplace in between. It’s pretty good, you might like it. I hope you do. Certainly, the musical accompaniments are masterful and elevate the quality far beyond what I could have created alone.

The bonus of living longer is I am getting better—so much better. These songs are part of how and why I grew to balance these extremes within my skin. Whenever I struggled, I wrote a song and sang it, over and over, and eventually I learned to live in the storm of conflict that rages inside me. As I grow older, I feel more alive, present and vital than ever before. I am physically stronger, more limber and vital. You should see me on the dance floor!

My songs tell stories, and I want to tell the world about them. I am very proud of this record, the musical framework and fine-tuned production by Marc Atkinson who has become a dear friend and mentor, the dreamy cover image by Gina-Rae Horvath, lush layered harmonies by Peter Cloud Panjoyah, Becky Prokova, and myself. I intend to continue to record with Marc for as long as I can. My backlog of songs is bursting me at the seams, and now—new songs are coming!

I reached a plateau a few years ago, when I stopped writing songs. Then I was gifted a few hours of studio time at The Barn Studio and a new world opened. Since then, I have written four new songs, two of which are on this album: “Love in Your 80s,” written for my Mom, who married a couple summers ago at 83, and “This Skin,” which still has that new song smell. More will be on the next recording. This making of music on record worth doing for the sake of doing, but if anyone out there can receive, enjoy and be changed a tiny bit by my work, I will have achieved my purpose in this life—something I never expected to be able to do. 

Excitement and fear coexist within me at all times—I am used to it by now, more or less. This dynamic tension between internal oppositions feeds my songs and fuels my viewpoint. I have many thoughts on many issues and I expect to explore a wide array of topics in this substack, but I will begin with and return to the songs. That is how I learn and grow, and perhaps teach. 

My album is available now on my Bandcamp page (embedded player below):

If you feel like owning these high quality .wav files, you can purchase the album for download by clicking the ‘buy’ link. If you are going to purchase the digital music, a wonderful time would be this Friday, April 5th, which is Bandcamp Friday—the first Friday of every month, when artists on Bandcamp receive one hundred percent of the proceeds of their sales. That’s infinitely better than Apple or Spotify. Apple pays artists $0.0076 per listen, while Spotify pays as little as $0.00318. Amazing.

If you prefer to listen on Apple, Spotify, YouTube or Amazon, which is of course fine (I listen to Apple myself) I will be releasing the album on those platforms on April 9th. All song lyrics are also available on the Bandcamp page. I’ll include lyrics with commentary to each song in this substack, one post at a time, starting with Track One below.

If you are old school and prefer a physical CD, please let me know and I will add you to the list. You will be informed when they are ready to go. I don’t have a firm date for the physical CD release but it will be this spring sometime. Thank you for reading and for subscribing, if you have! Subscriptions are free; you can read everything, but of course you have the option of upgrading to a paid subscription if you would like to support my writing.

Here are the lyrics (with commentary in italics) to Track 1: “Late Bloomer:”

Late Bloomer

You don't need to rescue me, I know what I'm doing
Ain’t no use to pressure me, I'll get there in my way

These lines are a response to the voice in my head, you know the one. We’ve all got one! Why haven’t you ‘done it yet?’!! Why aren’t you a success? Shame and self hatred. Breathe and be.

I'm a late bloomer, I'm a baby boomer
I heard a rumour we don't have to die
It's a hungry season, it’s all for a reason
I don't need to know, I ain't asking why

Everything is now. Now does not end. I don’t invest energy believing in death. Rather than ‘living as if I might die tomorrow,’ I prefer to live as if I might live forever.

I'm asking when, I'm asking where,
I'm casting bones, I'm splitting hairs
I been lying low, til my time shall come,
It's in the rhythm, the rhythm of the drum

It isn’t time until it is time.

Our kingdom will not come until I’m home
Our kingdom won't come until I’m home

If one of us suffers, we all do. I am one of us. We all matter, including me. This is important when you are a survivor, imprinted with existential shame.

Well I come from the wilderness, I come from the root
I come bearing fruit, I come in peace

I was raised in the Northern BC wilderness, without power or plumbing, until age 9. Spent a lot of time wandering alone in the woods.

And I'll tell you when, I'll show you where,
It’s in your bones, it’s in your hair
It’s lying low til its day is due,
It's in the phases, the phases of the moon

I’m an astrologer, it’s all about right timing. You can’t push the river.

Our kingdom will not come until you're home
our kingdom won't come until you're home

You matter too!

Well this ain't no fairy tale, and there ain't no happy ending

…because there’s no ending… get it?

No use pretending, and there's everything to see
If we live for truth, then truth will set us free
Live for truth and truth will set us free

Yes, it’s a cliche, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t true!

We’re the late bloomers, we’re the baby boomers
We’re starting rumours, we don’t have to die
It’s a new dimension, a simple release of tension

Just relax… breathe… let whatever happens happen and melt into the new world…

And it’s hardly worth mentioning, but we have to learn to cry

I mean, obviously… Bottling it up is toxic and leads to pain. Crying feels good.

Well the time is now, and the place is here
It’s in these stones and it’s in the air
Let the new begin now the old is done
It’s in the rising, the rising of the sun

Our kingdom will not come until we’re home
our kingdom won't come til we’re home
Our kingdom will come when we’re home,
Our kingdom will come when we're all home 

We all matter! This song is idealistic, certainly. But I stand behind its prophetic vision. When we are united, at home in our bodies and selves, our kingdom will come… right here, right now.

Thank you! I am bursting with love, for every one of you, whoever you are. You don’t even have to love me back, how awesome is that? If you want to spread the love, do tell your friends about this substack, share it on social media, love love love!